Moms who breastfeed can undergo a traumatic fourth trimester. Nursing a newborn baby has really been difficult for me. Before we left the hospital the on-site pediatrician informed us that Nuri was dehydrated. At the time she was only being given breast milk. They recommended for us to give her formula and would retest her blood sugar levels after a few hours.
Fast forward, I’m still breastfeeding but have to also give formula.
I had to get some assistance because I wasn’t sure she was still getting enough milk from me. So since I’m the only one who can breastfeed (unless I pump that is) my boyfriend and I decided that I’ll pump and feed her during the day and he will bottle feed her during the night. While it sounded good in theory, Nuri had other plans for us.
Unfortunately, she has a bigger appetite than my decline in production can provide for, so she is getting more formula than we planned. It’s a little upsetting because I was hellbent on not formula feeding, but I can’t have my child out here starving. Sore nipples, lack of sleep and still achy around my c-section scar it’s hard. It’s very emotional. I’ve cried several times both from the pain and also the feeling of failing at something I do very much want to do!
Although it was a little annoying in the beginning because I suffered from “I got it” syndrome…any help I get is now a Godsend. At times I feel bad for what I’m not able to do for Nuri as far as feeding and lifting etc but that’s when I have to stand back and let her father get his bonding time in.
He will never have the connection that I automatically had from carrying her for nine months, so any time they have together is crucial for their connection. It’s not easy to give up being a baby hog and sharing this little bundle of joy but it’s necessary. Undoubtedly so I have a larger load than Dad especially now that he is back to work and I had to remember that I have to pace myself because being a mother to a newborn is TOUGH!
I am still determined to breastfeed as long as I have milk. I watch several YouTube videos and have tried several recipes to help with lactation. I need to work on my water intake and finding time for meals, but I honestly feel that would make a world of difference. I’m going to get it…I can do it. All you breastfeeding Mommas out there…you can do it!
