A breakup I didn’t see coming changed my life and led me on a path of healing and the beginning of a business venture I never dreamed of creating.
On January 7, I received a text, YES, A TEXT, from my boyfriend of 3.5 years telling me he f*c&ed up and got another girl pregnant. He continued by telling me I dodged a bullet and it was best for me to get out while I could. I was consumed with sadness, anger, and disbelief because even though we were struggling, I just knew we would work it out and he was supposed to be my husband. I tried to act like nothing was wrong. I tried my best to hide my pain and kept a smile on my face. At work, I put my head down and was the best employee and at home, I continued to be the best mom I could be. But on the inside, I was riddled with anxiety and depression and trying to figure out what was happening in my life. I kept up the front until one day my daughter said to me “Mommy, I know you cry every day when you are in the shower; what’s wrong?“
At that moment I knew something had to change. I started counseling and finally opened up to my friends. To my surprise, many of them were going through their own struggles. It bothered me that we were all struggling, but too embarrassed to talk to each other. No one wanted to feel judged or criticized and in turn, we all decided to hurt alone.
If this was happening to us how many other women were going through the same things? I knew I wanted to do something to help people but had no clue where to begin. So, I started with a brunch with friends. We talked for hours over mimosas and great food and it was there that I knew I had to keep going. Since then, I have created a staple event entitled “Cupcakes, Cocktails and Conversations” where women get together to discuss different things they are going through. It’s never a male-bashing session, in fact, we usually have a counselor there to lead the discussion. It’s a time for comradery and the chance to help each other and give advice. I also planned my first retreat, “Breathe. Heal. Glow!” that I am so excited about and can’t wait to for it happen.
Breathe. Heal. Glow is my biggest event to date and will bring a small group of women to San Juan Puerto Rico. We will work on our health, both physically and emotionally with the help of life coach Raeven Western and yoga with Trap Yoga Bae. We will focus on spirituality and our goals with a session led by author Brandi McAlister and a vision workshop led by me. The retreat will balance healing with fun as we complete excursions on the island as a group and eat good food along the way.
Although my path has been difficult, I honestly wouldn’t change any of it because it has forced me to learn to love me fully and stop thinking about what other people want. I feel like I’m finally walking in my destiny and living a life I can be proud of.
As I head into 2019, I pray for more favor so that I can help women like me make it through the roughest times of their life. I look forward to a year filled with events and completing a life coaching certification to bring my work to another level.
Sakinah Sanders is the founder of I’m Just Sakinah, a life coaching and event company based in Atlanta, Ga. When she is not working on her brand, she is a single mom and works full time in digital media and product management. For more information on her and for information on her retreat Breathe! Heal! Glow Click here. You can also follow her on Ig @ImJustSakinah