Our conversations as a culture and as families about death are extremely limited. Whether it’s a discussion about estate planning or the wishes of a loved one who is terminally sick, it’s a slippery slope that can mist up feelings of sadness and anxiety. We know man is not meant to be immortal, but the reality of that is still scary — especially if you have the role of being a parent.
Just the other day my 14-month old was sliding across the floor and ran into the side of my TV stand. I swooped him up and showered him with kisses for a minute straight – really, it was the buffer time I needed to work up the courage to see if he had a bruise, a knot, or a cut. Thankfully, it was just a small bump that disappeared within a few hours. Being a parent means you are fearful a good 95% of your day.
In the news over the last two weeks, we’ve seen instances of sudden death of a parent in model Kim Porter and in Sutton Tennyson, Angela Simmons’ ex-fiancé. Both situations hit me like a ton of bricks. Upon reading the news about Tennyson I sent my son’s father a text and waited for a response to make sure he was alright. With Porter, I instantly thought of my mom who was up in the air on a plane headed to vacation across the country. I feel vulnerable from all sides.
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My son just learned how to give me kisses. Sort of. He pulls my face close to his and leaves a glob of drool on my cheek. I don’t want to imagine not having that feeling anymore.
But eventually, the clock winds down and our time on this earth will be up. I think what’s important is to make a meaningful impact while you’re here. That doesn’t mean promotions, cars, and new businesses. It’s making a difference in the lives of your loved ones every day. Celebrate their birthdays, Valentines Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Just be there.
How do you cope with being anxious about mortality?
I feel you on this one for sure.