Ever wish you had someone tell you what pregnancy was like before and while going through it? In this weekly column, we check in with a pregnant contributor — who’s previously suffered loss. She’ll take us along a journey of endless doctor’s appointments and questions from the outside world — all while keeping it a secret until she’s ready. Follow her journey of highs and lows during this special time. Her name? That’s to be revealed in due time.
Relationship Battles During Pregnancy
I never realized all of the adjustments that not only women’s bodies and minds go through, but the ones your relationship will most likely go through, too. I think it’s a rightfully selfish time for a woman when she is pregnant, but I see there has to be some balance. Most of my time is consumed with doctor visits and just trying to focus on the silver lining of it all when things have been ever so complicated.
It’s hard to entertain my significant other a.k.a. he who can’t even fathom all of the things we go through to bring a baby into this world. Not to strip him of all his credit, I will say I’ve been very supported and want for nothing most days. On the flip side, what am I supposed to do when he’s just not in a place to be a punching bag for these uncontrollable outbursts of emotions? The bickering can sometimes make me want to go on a one-way trip.
I decided to talk to a few new and expecting parents seeking advice on ways to handle all the things that I had been experiencing, and here is what I have gathered.
1. When he goes back to work, don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for help.
2. Don’t burn yourself out trying to do it all on your own.
3. The stress of work can be tough on new and expectant parents (especially when all you want to do is spend time with your newborn), so try to communicate and let each other know what’s going on before it becomes an issue at home.
4. Have date nights when you can and take the time to love on one another before the baby gets here.
5. When the baby is big enough, leave them with a sitter and use that time to remember why you chose each other in the first place.
6. Bae-cations and baby moons are good especially if the funds are available. A weekend trip, a road trip, or something else in your means can suffice.
7. Listen to one another. Be open about your fears and even expectations of each other as parents. You may not always agree, but both parties should be civil and come to common ground and understanding to cut down on stress.
8. Couples therapy, was another piece of advice. Talking to a mutual party about old baggage, concerns, and things that you just can’t get to the bottom of on your own can be a beneficial and long-lasting option.
9. Breathe and remember it will pass.
10. The lack of sleep will have us both losing our minds. It’s a time to heavily rely on each other and make a system that works for our schedules and lifestyles.
This advice was overwhelming but very insightful. It helps to know that when your relationship is in a rut and super tense, there are things that you can do before heading for the hills.
If I were to give myself advice I’d say, be patient with yourself and your significant other and remember, love conquers all.
Have you ever faced a relationship roadblock during pregnancy? What are some things that you’ve done to get you through? Let us know in the comments below.